Life Lessons

I would have never planned things this way, but it seems to have worked out for my oldest son.

I have had further discussions with mt ex's current wife who is in the process of divorcing him. She is in the 60 day wait period right now before it can be finalized. I first spoke of this here

He is supposed to pick the boys up this Friday (tomorrow). He's preoccupied with stalking his wife and attempting to land a new victim to mooch off of. He's also without a job. Because of these things I'm not so sure that he'll show up.

Last weekend their step father and I sat down with them and discussed that when they do see their dad next he won't be with his wife. We explained that they are divorcing. The boys really liked her and her family so we wanted to prepare them and offer them the option of talking with her for closure. They were really upset about the news, but didn't want to speak with her.

Last night I was talking with my oldest son about the possiblity that his dad might not show up on Friday. I asked him if he'd be disappointed. He said 'No, not really'. He has been disappointed by him far too many times already I believe. He then told me he knew that the divorce was coming. I asked him how and he stated that his dad was not respectful of his wife and he told her what to do and bossed her around. We discussed how that's not the way you treat people you love.

I'm so happy that he noticed this. I stayed married to his father in the end because I wanted the boys' to grow up with their biological father in the same house with them. Finally, I realized that I wasn't doing them any favors by doing this. I was only teaching them exactly what a relationship should not be like. That realization helped me make the necessary decision to divorce him. So now my oldest son sees a healthy, loving relationship between myself and his stepfather. He now can recognize the difference between a healthy relationship and one that is not. After I learned the truth about my ex I never doubted my decision. This one conversation was great validation in the decision I made years ago though.