Thursday, March 27, 2008

12 years ago today

My first son was born. He was 3 days late and took 17 hours of labor to get here. But, he was perfect. Now he's officially a preteen and I'm just as proud of him today as I was then. He is an intelligent, independent, nice young person...very proud to say he's my son :-)

Friday, March 21, 2008

All for naught

AF showed reared her ugly head so no pregnancy for me this cycle. It wasn't all for naught, because I did have fun trying at least ;-) Next cycle I'm pulling out the big guns and using a Clear Blue Easy Fertility monitor. This thing is supposed to be the bomb in detecting fertile days and showing you more than just 2 potential days to become pregnant. We'll see how well it works.

This has been a bit depressing for me. I was content with not having any more children. I have two of the best kids I can even imagine. I'm almost 40 years old and the 2 boys I speak of so often are very independent. A new baby would change the whold dynamics of our family. And then wham! out of the blue, not even trying I was pregnant. I was really excited about the unexpected new addition to our family. Then just as quickly that was taken away as I suffered the missed misscarriage. I went through a mirad of emotions, disbelief, sadness, pain, and finally ended up feeling hopeful about the future and trying again. But, here I am down again. The whole ordeal just seems a little cruel. It seems like everywhere I look someone is having a baby or is pregnant. I just found out yesterday my boss is pregnant. While I'm happy for her I'm sad for me.

I'll find that hope again, but for now I'm just a little sad about the whole thing...

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Even more acronyms

Acronyms of a different nature...JNDI, RMI, EAR file, J2EE, GUI, JDBC...I'm in an advanced Java course this week. This is a great class and the instructor is really good. I'm just exhausted from the time change on top of learning these advanced techniques *yawn* I can't wait for Friday. I can catch up on some rest and a little closer to Monday when I can test. Yay!!

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Two week wait

So we are full-on TTC (trying to conceive) a child. I sadly suffered a miscarriage on Thanksgiving day in 2007. I have waited the 3 months as instructed by my OB. I have continued taking prenatal vitamins. I gave up caffeine 2 weeks ago. I'm eating as healthy as I can. I have passed ovulation. So now I'm in this 2 week wait period before testing. It's really gonna be 1 week and 4 days, because I'm impatient like that :p So on St. Patty's day, March 17th I'll be POAS (peeing on a stick) to determine if we are with child or not. In the process I'm learning all kinds of new acronyms (TTC, DPO, POAS, CD, etc.) Yippee.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Life Lessons

I would have never planned things this way, but it seems to have worked out for my oldest son.

I have had further discussions with mt ex's current wife who is in the process of divorcing him. She is in the 60 day wait period right now before it can be finalized. I first spoke of this here

He is supposed to pick the boys up this Friday (tomorrow). He's preoccupied with stalking his wife and attempting to land a new victim to mooch off of. He's also without a job. Because of these things I'm not so sure that he'll show up.

Last weekend their step father and I sat down with them and discussed that when they do see their dad next he won't be with his wife. We explained that they are divorcing. The boys really liked her and her family so we wanted to prepare them and offer them the option of talking with her for closure. They were really upset about the news, but didn't want to speak with her.

Last night I was talking with my oldest son about the possiblity that his dad might not show up on Friday. I asked him if he'd be disappointed. He said 'No, not really'. He has been disappointed by him far too many times already I believe. He then told me he knew that the divorce was coming. I asked him how and he stated that his dad was not respectful of his wife and he told her what to do and bossed her around. We discussed how that's not the way you treat people you love.

I'm so happy that he noticed this. I stayed married to his father in the end because I wanted the boys' to grow up with their biological father in the same house with them. Finally, I realized that I wasn't doing them any favors by doing this. I was only teaching them exactly what a relationship should not be like. That realization helped me make the necessary decision to divorce him. So now my oldest son sees a healthy, loving relationship between myself and his stepfather. He now can recognize the difference between a healthy relationship and one that is not. After I learned the truth about my ex I never doubted my decision. This one conversation was great validation in the decision I made years ago though.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Proud mommy moment


I am so proud of my monkey boys. The youngest made it into the school's GATE (Gifted and Talented Education) program. The report card he brought home today was all A's with the exception of one B. He is in 3rd grade reading at a 7th grade level. My eldest monkey boy made straight A's on his report card. In 6th grade he's reading at a 10th grade level. This is good news for the mommy's soul.