Lifeline

Have you ever thrown someone a lifeline and they either refuse it or struggle with accepting it? I have witnessed this many times. My sister and my mother both have been offered lifelines from me in various forms and at various times. Each one has been refused. I often shook my head in disbelief.

Most recently I have offered a lifeline to a co-worker, friend. We are both on a project that is being run by people who lack even the most basic amount of integrity. There is no common goal or vision. The leaders are also unable to recognize talent, therefore unable to utilize the talent appropriately. They are of the belief that people are 'plug and play'. Any person can be replaced by another regardless of talent or skill needed for each task. People to them are just resources, numbers to report up to senior management. Along with these thoughts about their 'resources', they feel no need to provide adequate work space for them. This translates into resources being divided into 4 rooms. Each room holds 10-12 people with one phone to be shared by all. Each resource shares a square of a table, no personal effects. No where to put anything you might need throughout your work day. These are deplorable work conditions in my opinion. I'm not aware of one of my co-workers that is happy with this situation. I found a way out.

Thanks to some former co-workers pulling for me I got an opportunity out of this situation. There was one other position available. I asked my co-worker, friend if she'd be interested. Her and I had discussed ad nauseum our discontent with our current situation. She was very excited about the opportunity. We both proceeded forward...spoke to the hiring manager about our interest, applied to the requisition online, interviewed, offered the position and accepted the position. All along this process two of my former co-workers were telling the hiring manager how great we were. We both let our current manager know of our intent to leave. This is when it got interesting. Our senior management tried to put a stop to it. She tried everything to prevent us from going, but soon learned that the new manager really wanted us and he went toe to toe with her. They both had to compromise in the end. She got to keep us longer than he wanted, but we are out. We have a chance to start a new position with the same company where we have great salary and benefits. I personally couldn't be happier. I made the decision and I haven't looked back.

My co-worker, friend on the other hand has struggled with her decision ever since. Just Thursday she told me she's really considering staying and not taking the new position. I believe her after being in a team meeting with her. She is still very emotionally attached to this project. I honestly don't want her to do anything that she is not 100% sure of. Only she knows what is best for her. But, I honestly cannot fathom how this environment could be best for anybody! All of our other co-workers are completely jealous that we're getting the opportunity to move on. There is one person that is bending her ear and telling her how much they need her. He's giving her false hope in my opinion and she's buying it..hook, line and sinker! Everyone has their own path that is created by their own free will. It's just difficult for me to sit by and watch her make this decision and feel that she's messing up. But, I will. I helped provide her an option, but she most likely will chose to not take that option. I will not take it personally. Just as I have had to let go of the idea that my mother or my sister would accept any float I've thrown out to them, I will with her.

As for me....I'm outta there and couldn't be happier. I have 2 weeks left where I have to work 1/2 days on that doomed project and then I'm onto a new endeavor that at least has hope :)

Empathy

I often forget that not everyone possesses empathy Case in point, my friend was over tonight. I had some old pictures out on my kitchen table. We started looking through them. They were of my boys when they were younger. Some of them had my ex-husband in them with the boys. I was explaining how I hate seeing those pictures, because they look like he really cares about them. Her response was 'Well this is assuming that he doesn't'. I explained that I really believe that he doesn't. She said 'Well everyone speaks badly about their ex's' OMG this statement leaves me with the impression that she doesn't believe the things I've told her about him. Granted she never met him. But, he's such a manipulative person she would probably believe me even less if she had. She then looked at one of his pictures and said 'Well he doesn't look like a wife beater and a cheater'. I was shocked. I told her that if she ever met him in person she wouldn't think so either 'cause he's very good at being deceptive about who he really is. I'm still shocked by the whole conversation. If he weren't really the way I have said he is I would still be married to him. I sure wasn't jonesing for a divorce! But, he lied, cheated, abused, manipulated me the whole time we were together...even years after we were married because of the boys. He told me when my youngest son was born he never wanted him and that he wasn't his. He was born with red hair and my boss at the time also had red hair so he told me that he was my boss's and not his. Just last week I found out that he is still spewing this same lie. His ex-wife told me that was his story from when he first met her. So it's difficult when someone that is supposed to be my friend would give this monster the benefit of the doubt. I guess that it would take empathy and trust to understand something like this. Or possibly some people would actually have to live through a similar nightmare before they acquired such empathy.

Things are not always as they appear

Last week while I was on vacation I got an offer from HR for the job I interviewed for a couple of weeks ago. I accepted. My new manager called me an hour later. He apologized for disturbing me while I was on vacation, but said he wanted to congratulate me and welcome me to his team. He seems like such a breath of fresh air from the current secret cat fight society I belong to now a.k.a The Maverick Project.

The Maverick Project sounds like such a cool thing to be a part of doesn't it? It brings up images of Tom Cruise (before we knew he was a whack job), Goose, competition, excitement, soaring jets, excellence...all positive images. Well this project is anything but that. There isn't one person that I know of working on the project that wants to be there. The purpose of the project is a good one. It's a good concept that if implemented correctly would be great. Here lies the issue. Implementation will almost certainly fail due to management's incompetence; their incompetence to recognize talent and respect that talent, their incompetence to recognize their own limitations and seek the advice of others. Their lack of integrity will also play a big part in the failure of this project. They have never honestly reported to senior management the status or quality of product being developed.

In the beginning I was very excited to be a part of this project. I would learn new technologies. I would be involved in the technology of the future, yada yada yada. I bought into the story they were selling. Soon after being 'hand picked' to be a team member I learned that it wasn't what it appeared. I began exploring other employment opportunities within the company. It has taken a loooong time, but the opportunity is finally here and this secret cat fight society is attempting to ruin that opportunity for me. I thought they would gladly release me to this new opportunity, but I was wrong. All the sudden I'm a critical player on the team. They are attempting to make me stay on the project for another 8 weeks. They have virtually ignored my existence up to this point. I was really unsure if management even knew my name. They have ignored any complaint I've ever brought to them. I tried to make this an environment that I would want to be in. They have no intention of changing anything. Everyone is expected to like being sardined into a room with limited workspace, sharing a phone with 9 other people, not understanding the language spoken in the room, having no office supplies...I could go on. Honestly, these are deplorable working conditions for a professional. Now I'm critical?? And they won't let me go and pursue a better opportunity?? Completely unprofessional.

So now the leader of the secret cat fight society is battling with my new manager and trying to beat him down like she does everyone else. Not once has she had a conversation with ME about this. This is my career, yet she feels no obligation to speak to me about it and try to work out an agreement with me. She's just going to bully my new manager and then tell me how it's going to be! I'm furious to say the least. I'm sitting on the sideline and waiting for the outcome. I know my new manager is fighting hard for me...hoping for the best. He is able to recognize talent and has respect for people as people. He doesn't just look at them as 'resources'.

And for the bad news

Yesterday was the day of big news at the company I work for. Several of my friends, co-workers lost their jobs. My job was saved. But, theirs were lost. It makes me very sad for two of them in particular. I worked for both of them. They were both really good managers. One was my manager when I was hired. I worked for him over 4 years. I worked for him during one of the most difficult times of my life, when I was being stalked by my ex-husband and almost drove to insanity. I also worked for him when I suffered a broken ankle and elbow. He allowed me to work from home for 6 weeks while I was taking pain pills and healing. He was always very supportive of me and taught me a lot. He is a great guy. The other I only worked for for 6 months. He always made sure that I knew that he noticed the work I was doing. He always let me know how much he appreciated me. He also protected me from getting more work assigned to me than I could do in a reasonable amount of time. His wife just had a baby in Feb. and they have 3 other young children. I'm just so sad that these people and several others are losing their jobs. It proves once again that in this company you're not always rewarded for skill and integrity. Both of these men have these qualities yet they lost their jobs while others that lack any skill or integrity kept theirs. Unfair. Life is unfair. I know this, but don't have to like it.

I have news!!

My prospective, future manager contacted me today. He told me that I can expect an offer from HR in the next couple of days! woohoo! Now to find out what tomorrow's big organizational, layoff, etc. news is...

Crazy, busy

Life has been crazy, busy lately. I went to a week of advanced Java training. Then I was in another 2 weeks worth of training for the framework my company has purchased. During this time my eldest monkey boy turned 12. He has been signed up for his first ever overnight soccer camp. He got straight A's on his report card with the lowest grade being a 92, everything else 97 & up even got a 100 in Science! My youngest monkey boy got a 100 on his first TAKS test, straight A's on his report card with his lowest grade being a 96 there were a few 100's in there too. He also managed to put a gash in his knee which required a 2 hour emergency room visit and 11 stitches. So all this good behavior and one accident required lots of going out to eat and celebrating.

Last week I interviewed for a job that I have been waiting to come through for quite some time, since October. I heard from some of my co-worker friends that the hiring manager was quite impressed. I was supposed to hear back on Friday about his decision, but I'm still waiting.

I heard that on Wednesday there will be some BIG news within the company I work for. This will not be good, BIG news, rather bad BIG news in the form of layoffs, retirement packages, restructure, etc. So I'm waiting to hear about that too.

And for the final bit of information I'm waiting on...I'm again in the 2WW.

Good news is I'm on vacation while all this waitin' is going on. Sooo I went from crazy, busy to a screeching halt. I'm trying to enjoy the down time and not dwell on everything that's up in the air right now.

12 years ago today

My first son was born. He was 3 days late and took 17 hours of labor to get here. But, he was perfect. Now he's officially a preteen and I'm just as proud of him today as I was then. He is an intelligent, independent, nice young person...very proud to say he's my son :-)